Somethings In Life You Just Cant Change
by Jedi Solo
Summary: Lupin POV decides he would do anything to change the past of what happened Halloween 1981, and with the Mirror of Erised on your door…how could you refuse to look at your desire for last time…"Major OotP Spoilers!"


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Something's In Life You Just Can't Change

Title: Trust  
By: JediSolo  
Email: jedisolo2003@hotmail.com  
Category: Drama, General a lot of Tragedy…

Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Major Spoilers for Order of Phoenix!

Disclaimer: All recognizable Harry Potter characters are the exclusive property of JK Rowling. All others belong to me. I have no official permission to use these characters, but I'm not being paid for it either, so that's okay.  
Feedback: **jedisolo2003@hotmail.com****_  
Time Frame: After Order of The Phoenix…_**

Summary: Lupin POV decides he would do anything to change the past of what happened Halloween 1981, and with the Mirror of Erised on your door…how could you refuse to look at your desire for the very last time… 

ANGST ALERTS!_ This story is sad…I must be sad enough to sit there and sob as I wrote it so, don't say I didn't warn you…_

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Lupin POV:

Some things in life you just can't change--no matter how much I want to I can't change what happened…

I couldn't stop the fact my mum and twin brothers died leaving me in my father alone…

I couldn't stop becoming a werewolf…

I couldn't stop feeling like a monster, every time I looked into a mirror.

I couldn't accept what I saw, when I turned up at Godric's Hollow on "Hallows Eve" 14 years ago…

I couldn't believe that Peter Petigrew, our friend Peter had betrayed us and sent Voldermort there on Halloween in the first place…

I couldn't stop crying as I looked at the bodies of my dead friends and the sound of their son crying in the distance…

I couldn't accept 2 years ago that I almost killed my last link to James Potter as an werewolf--When I was foolish and hadn't taken my potion…

Last but certainly not the least--I couldn't admit the fact that I had watched my best friend Sirius Black…fall right infront of me…into darkness--

I don't want to be alone…I don't want to be alive now…I used too, but not anymore…

All these thoughts went through my head as I sat in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld place this morning, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it slowly and then a wizard I recognized well walked in, carrying with him something I hadn't seen in 20 years atleast. It was covered in a white sheet, but I knew what it was straight away.

"The mirror of Erised" I questioned Arthur Weasley as he and one of his twin sons helped it in to the kitchen. "Why did you bring it here?"

"Dumbledore said that we could keep it here…Shall we take it up stairs…"

"No, It's Ok…I'll ask Sirius if we can put it in--" I stopped. Then realizing what I had said. "Just--Just leave it…" I whispered, more to myself than the two other wizards, who I noticed gave me a sympathetic look and then left the kitchen.

I stood there numbly for a moment, and then my sight was fixed on the mirror. I don't know what made me do it, but I did it anyway…I walked up to it and removed the sheet, which slid to the floor and stood in the centre, so I could see my reflection.

I knew what my deepest desire was, and I knew the mirror would show it to me…I didn't at first, so I stepped out and tried again and then when I looked this time, my face swelled with tears.

They were all there. My dad at the back smiling, Sirius with a sad grin on his face on his other side and James Potter beside him holding his wife's hands all of them in the wedding costumes we wore to their wedding. Then beside me was Harry, standing with his parents in a page boy costume. A look of pure joy on his face, behind his black rimmed glasses was joyous tears seeping out of his emerald green eyes, as he looked out of the mirror.

I reached my long hand out to the mirror and placed it over Lily's face, all of them looked at me longingly and then they all waved at me just as longingly as though they wanted to be with me too as I wanted to be with them. 

I looked for one more second, and then I turned away and broke into agonizing sobs. It was Tonks who heard me first, she walked in and saw me and ran over, and give me a hug. 

"Hey Moony, what's the matter," she said in a calm voice, and then she noticed the mirror behind me, she got the picture and threw the sheet over the mirror. Then turned back to me… "Your not too happy are you Remus," she said, and I shook my head.

"I failed them all…I failed my father--I failed Sirius, I failed James and Lily, and I failed Harry…I am a failure…I deserve to die!" I said, Tonks looked at me in terror.

"Lupin no…you do not deserve to die," she said, but I couldn't stop feeling what I had said was more than the truth.

"I am…" I said, "I don't want to live anymore…how would you feel if the ones you cared for more than life itself were ripped from you…" I said, and she shrugged sadly.

"I don't Moony, But--I cant stress how much we need you in the Order now--especially since the incident…and Harry--He's going to need you now more than ever--you are the last link to Sirius and his parents. Just as he is your last link to find a reason to live…" she said, and gave me a peck on the forehead. 

I felt stupid, like a little spoilt child, but what ever happened, I still felt the pain and agony which had developed all my life--which had built up for 36 years now pouring out of me and I just couldn't stop it no matter how hard I tried.

"Thanks Tonks…" I said weakly. "You're the best…" I muttered, and then I slunk away, as I thought dazed about how unlucky I had been, and that I hope in the years to come. I would try to do my best and be that link Tonks was talking about and remain as loyal to Harry as ever. Because other wise when I died James would probably kill me…but then again, he'd have to dig me up first because Lily, would have got to me first! 

THE END

My friend started sobbing and called this a one hit wonder--I don't know about that…It made me cry though! If you want me to do more stories like these plz read and review. Hope you enjoyed.

Email me at Jedisolo2003@hotmail.com for any ideas you want written or could write for you or any comments. Thank You

You truest fan…JEDI SOLO


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